Who I am....

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I'm just a girl...trying to live as authentically and as freely as possible. Hoping that throughout my journey to authenticity others are led to discover the truth of who they are as well....

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Fears and frustrations...

Somedays I feel hope. Strength. Confidence in my ability to find freedom.
And then there are days like today.
Days that leave me crying in bed at 1am.
Unsure of how much more I can handle. How many more battles I can fight.
Days that leave me feeling lost and confused and completely alone.
Despite the logical knowledge I have of being loved.
Days that leave me wanting to surrender it all, yet hold on even tighter.
It's hard trying to maintain a facade of strength when you are falling apart inside.
To be someone's rock when you feel like the foundation you are built on is crumbling beneath you.
It's overwhelming to constantly dole out the advice you so desperately need to hear to others, and yet not be able to internalize it for yourself.
Some days just plain stink.
Trying to hold on to the hope that tomorrow might be better.
And cling to the promise that even if it's not, it doesn't mean eventually it won't be.

2 comments:

  1. Its ok you dont always have to be the strong one you have your good days where you can help others and the days where you cant and thats ok you just help yourself. You have me (if you want) to email just to talk. I have my days too when all my hope is gone. But I read blogs and know Im not alone and that we all cant always have the answer to our eating disorders we do what we can to help each other and dont worry I know you cant always have the answers to help others. all of us, who have this beast, need all the help in any way that we can give or get even if its just someone saying "its going to be ok.
    Xoxo
    "its going to be ok"

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  2. i just want to say........I LOVE YOU!!!!!

    ReplyDelete